Blind Love Read online

  “Why? Do you have an STD?” She ran a finger between his skin and the band of his boxers.

  “No,” he gasped and kissed her.

  She scratched into the patch of hair right below the waist. His ability to breathe ceased. When Lauren pulled her hand free, he considered dropping his shorts and begging her to go down farther. Before he had a chance to do so, she cupped his groin from the outside of the thin boxers.

  Oh, God.

  Gabe’s brain shut down. His eyes closed. He savored the pressure. In painfully slow motions, she traced the outline of his length while planting kisses along his neck. He imagined her mouth instead of her fingers peppering kisses below his navel. When she bit into his shoulder, he leaned his head back and growled.

  “You’re obviously not suffering from erectile dysfunction.” Chuckling, she continued to stroke him.

  His voice came out hoarse, “No. Never.”

  She nipped at his lip and pulled. “Then?” Lauren mumbled while her fingers continued to play with the only part of him that mattered.

  He opened his mouth to speak but decided kissing her was a much better use of his energy.

  She’s not here because she wants you, dumbass. She’s using you to forget about the ex.

  Damn voice.

  Grabbing on to the brick wall, he dug his fingers into the hard surface and pulled his face away from hers. “It’s not a good idea,” Gabe choked out while he watched her magical hands move up and down his length.

  “I think it’s a perfect idea.” With every stroke, she was shutting down coherent thought.

  With strength he never knew he possessed, Gabe stepped back and pulled her hand off his crotch. She was using him and typically he didn’t care about those things. But this time, he did. Although his body protested, he focused on the hurt that flashed briefly across Lauren’s face before she turned away. Holding her chin, he turned her mouth to him and planted a long kiss on her.

  “Why?” she whispered.

  “Because I’m stupid.” He kissed her again. “And because having sex with you tonight would be me taking advantage of the situation.”

  “What?” She stepped back. “I’m the one who came to you. That doesn’t make any sense.”

  She pushed past him and walked toward her house. He followed close behind. How the hell was he supposed to explain to her something he himself couldn’t understand?

  Physical.

  No questions.

  No expectations.

  Nothing more.

  This was all he ever wanted with women and, up until a few minutes ago, what he wanted with her. Now he was finally getting it, he couldn’t do it. “Look, I don’t understand it myself. But tell me something. If we have sex now, what happens in the morning?”

  She paused, considering the question. “What?”

  “In the morning, when you wake up and realize you had sex with me because you were upset about your ex showing up, what happens then?”

  Realization flashed across her face. She shook her head and began to walk away. “Why do you care? I thought this was what you wanted. Apparently, I was wrong.”

  He grabbed her hips from behind and pressed his erection into her. God she felt good. “Let’s be clear about something.”

  She gasped. Lauren leaned back and rested her cheek against his.

  “I want you.” He turned his mouth slightly and kissed the corner of hers. “There’s no question about that. And—” he planted a long kiss on her lips, “—when we do have sex, and we will…I want lots of it.” He rested his hand against her stomach while the other traced the side of her arm. He pressed his lips against hers and talked through the contact. “If you can tell me you won’t wake up tomorrow and regret this. That you’ll stick around for the sequels I have planned for us. Then I’ll have you on the grass naked in thirty seconds.”

  He prayed he was wrong. Hoped her answer would surprise him.

  Lauren closed her eyes. She pulled her face away and shook her head. “I can’t promise you that.”

  He ignored the sting of her words and planted a final, chaste kiss on her cheek.

  “Decision made. Tonight I’ll play the part of your friend and we’ll talk. Why don’t you go home and make me a cup of your fancy coffee while I lock up?”

  She nodded and continued to her home. Gabe took in her ridiculous pink pajamas as she walked away. A large rabbit sat on each of her butt cheeks. He watched them rise and sink while the carrot in their hands waved at him with each step she took. For some reason, it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. “Pitiful,” he mumbled and adjusted himself. While his two heads warred with each other about his sanity, Gabe walked back to his house to put on some clothes and lock up.

  Chapter Nine

  Being Intimate

  Lauren closed the door behind her. She rested her back against its frame and tried to catch her breath. Every organ in her body was currently overheating.

  What the hell did I just do?

  She sought him out. He wanted her and she wanted him. There was obvious chemistry but he pushed her away. More painful than the rejection was what he said…because he was right. She was using him. Her chest tightened and face burned with shame. The person she tried so hard to be and the one she became tonight were complete opposites. As tears filled her eyes, she blinked them away and gripped the doorknob.

  Damn it. No more crying.

  Jack licked her hand. She rubbed his head and walked to the kitchen. Coffee needed to be made for a man she barely knew but was willing to have sex with.

  I’ve lost my freakin’ mind.

  The anxious voice in the back of her head, which sounded an awful lot like Mrs. Rourke, whispered, “Be careful. After all, he is a stranger.”

  Chuckling, she poured herself a glass of wine. Be careful of what? Being taken advantage of? He might steal her money, possibly even her dog, but she was pretty sure he’d leave her honor intact. Which was fine. She was doing an amazing job of destroying that on her own. The memory of groping him made her shudder. Gulping down the drink, she shook her head. It was going to take more than self-talk to calm her nerves.

  By the time Gabe arrived, Lauren had finished her second glass of wine and was preparing a statement of apology.

  Her mouth went dry as soon as the screen door opened. “Hello” seemed like a dumb thing to say after feeling him up a few minutes ago. As she poured herself another serving of courage, she waved toward the counter. “Coffee’s ready, help yourself.”

  “Perfect.” Gabe’s fingers caressed the back of her hand before he made his way into the kitchen. Her skin and feminine parts tingled from the contact, making a difficult situation even more complicated. She put the bottle of sweet red down and watched his foggy silhouette. Somehow the topic of what happened outside needed to be broached.

  Jack nuzzled her, encouraging the discussion. First another long sip. Sweet raspberry warmed her as it flowed down her throat. She walked to the living room and sat on the sofa. Head bowed, she fidgeted with the rim of her glass. “About earlier in the backyard.”

  The metal spoon dinged against his ceramic mug while he stirred. “What about it?”

  “It shouldn’t have happened.” Lauren listened for his response. He took a gulp of his drink, swallowed and took another drink before resting the cup on the marble surface.

  When his footsteps approached, she held her breath. Unfortunately, the breath she held was mixed with a musky mix of cedar and…pine? The sofa dipped. His jeans pressed against her flannelled thigh. Lauren cringed while her imagination buzzed with his potential responses. Sexual harassment charges being the worst.

  He cleared his throat and took her drink from her clenched hand. The base clinked against the wood when he placed it on the table. “Which part shouldn’t have happened?”

  “All of it.” Uns
ure of what to do with her nervous fingers, she tucked them under her rear.

  Gabe chuckled and kissed her cheek. “I should probably apologize for the morning when I trapped you in the kitchen.”

  Her face heated. “You didn’t grope me. There’s a difference.”

  “Good point.” He pulled her hand out from under her butt. Gabe twined his fingers through hers and rubbed her knuckles across his stubbled chin. “These fingers are magic. They have powers I’ll be dreaming about for nights to come.”

  Her head throbbed, probably from the speed drinking she’d done. She pulled her hand away and massaged her temples. “I’m serious. It was inappropriate.”

  “And hot.” Gabe stretched his arm across the back of the sofa, around her shoulder, and tugged her close. “Here, let me help.”

  Before she could protest, his fingers replaced hers. They pressed below her eyebrows and felt heavenly. She leaned farther into him and sighed. Any capability for coherent speech was caressed away.

  “For the record—” he pressed his lips against her ear, “—the only part I regret is not finding out what’s under your zipper. And I’ve never had a woman proposition me in my own backyard before. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got planned for the grocery store.”

  She giggled and elbowed him.

  Maybe it was the two, okay, three glasses of wine, or the way he touched her skin, or the overwhelming sensation of warmth and safety she was currently experiencing, probably a mix of all three, but she seemed to melt into him.

  When he pressed against the tight muscles in the back of her neck, her mind turned to mush.

  “Why does your friend call you Cat? It’s cute.”

  Lauren tried to stay focused and ignore the way her body heated another degree each time he touched her skin. “It’s a nickname Ben gave me when we were in high school. My eyes are green and after I lost my vision, my other senses got stronger. He said I was like a cat. That I could detect people before they were in front of me.”

  She lowered her head, allowing him better access as he kneaded the back of her neck.

  “So Ben gets credit for the nickname.”

  Her ex-husband was not a topic she wanted to discuss at the moment. But apparently her mouth was not listening to her brain. When Lauren tried to pull away, he tugged her back and worked on her forehead. “We were friends before we ever dated,” she said, praying he wouldn’t stop.

  “How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”

  She rested the back of her head against his chin. “Not since the day of our divorce. After signing the papers, I left. Never answered his calls or talked to him again. I made it my mission to prove to myself I didn’t need him. So I finished my Ph.D. and here I am, five years later. Which was why today was so hard.”

  “You sure you’ve moved on?”

  “I have. When your past is standing in front of you reminding you of your failures, it doesn’t matter how much you’ve achieved, it still hurts.”

  “Well, you handled it beautifully.”

  She smiled at his compliment. “Really? When? Before or after I tried to get you to have sex with me?”

  “Hey, I propositioned you first, remember?” Her head bobbed up and down while his fingers rubbed the aches away. “So, he’s trying to get you back?”

  “I doubt it. He obviously wasn’t happy with me the first time around. It’s hard to believe he’s coming back for a second chance.”

  “People make mistakes, you know.” The way he said it, she wondered for a second if he was talking about himself or Ben.

  As she thought about her marriage, her insecurities started to resurface. Lauren grabbed her wine and took another sip. “Sometimes people make mistakes on purpose.”

  “Meaning, he cheated on you because he wanted you to divorce him?”

  “Something like that.” She played with the rim of the glass.

  “Doesn’t make sense.”

  How could she explain something she still didn’t completely understand? “I don’t think my failed marriage is what we should be talking about.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t know you.”

  “After the backyard massage you gave me, I’m pretty sure you have a better understanding of me than most of the people in the state of Colorado.”

  She dropped her head and groaned. “I am such a pervert.”

  He kissed the corner of her mouth. “A sexy pervert with magical hands.”

  At some point, Gabe stopped massaging her aches and wrapped his arms around her. Lauren put her drink down and shifted closer, resting her head on his shoulder. Neither commented on their seating arrangement. Instead, she tried to figure out how to explain Ben.

  “Ben’s always been someone you could count on to play superhero. He’d run into a burning house with no second thought. It’s why he went into law enforcement, and it’s why he married me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was naïve and determined to make it on my own, but clueless on how hard it would be. So he swooped in and saved the day by marrying the blind girl.”

  “Feeling a little sorry for ourselves, are we?”

  “Maybe a little.”

  He chuckled.

  “Okay, a lot. When your husband cheats on you, it’s natural to wonder what’s wrong with you. Why you couldn’t satisfy him. The words ‘You’re blind’ in bright flashing letters pops up every time I ask myself the question.”

  He kissed her forehead and held her tight. “You see more than the rest of us do. It’s one of the things I find fascinating about you.”

  “You find me fascinating?”

  Gabe laughed. “Don’t change the subject. I saw the way Ben stared at you today. He looked like a man in pain. He still loves you. He wasn’t playing superhero.”

  Her chest tightened. Did he still love her? “Maybe. But regardless of why he married me, he cheated. It ruined everything.” She got quiet as she remembered the man she once called her husband and the choices he made. It was time to change the subject. “Now your turn.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yup. A smart man once told me that when someone opens their mouth and throws up their pitiful life story, you should share some of yours so they don’t feel like shit afterward.”

  Gabe played with a lock of her hair as he chuckled. “Whoever said that is a pathetic bastard.”

  “Yeah, well, pathetic bastard, spill.”

  “All right, what do you want to know?”

  “What happened to Matt?”

  She regretted the question as soon as she felt him stiffen. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to answer. It’s none of my business.”

  When she tried to get up, Gabe pulled her tighter and rested his cheek against hers. “No, it’s okay.”

  She held her breath while he took a deep one.

  “Matt killed himself eight years ago today,” he whispered.

  She swallowed the gasp threatening to escape. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his and squeezed. This was about him and his pain, not how it impacted her.

  “Since our dad died, he’d been my responsibility. I did the best I could. But obviously it wasn’t good enough.” Gabe’s voice cracked.

  “You don’t have to…”

  “No, it’s fine. I made you talk. Now it’s my turn.”

  Lauren sat as silent as possible and listened.

  “There wasn’t much of a future for either of us in Tyler. So a few days after high school graduation, I joined the Marine Corps. He was twelve, and since my mom was home and sober most of the time, I figured it was time to do something with my life. Be someone. Four years later, I came back home with money and a plan on how to fix things. But Matt wasn’t at the airport to pick me up. When I got to the house, I found him dead
in his bedroom.”

  A tear fell from her eye. Oblivious, Gabe continued his story. “He shot himself an hour before my plane landed. I’d always been there to clean up his messes before, and he knew I’d do it then too.”

  He seemed almost in a trance. She rubbed his arms, encouraging him on. “And so I did. I stayed in Tyler for a few months. Fixed his mistakes before re-enlisting for another eight years.”

  “And your mom?”

  “Still there. She calls sometimes. I don’t answer. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have anything left there. Just bad memories.”

  Except for Jack’s snoring from the far corner of the room, the space was silent. Lauren held on to Gabe and tried to process his pain. From the emotion in his voice, it was obvious very few had been allowed into this part of him. She wondered why he let her in.

  After a long while, she changed the subject. “What did you do in the Marines?”

  His arms relaxed at the question. “Scout Sniper.”

  “Wow, like a sharp shooter?”

  “A lot like that.”

  The more questions Lauren asked about his military years, the more Gabe sounded like himself. He talked about his funny experiences in the Middle East. The things he’d done and seen. She leaned her cheek against him and listened as he played with her hair. After a while, the warmth of his body, the way his chest vibrated when he spoke, the three glasses of wine, it all lulled her to sleep.

  At some point in the night, Lauren woke up with her face still pressed against Gabe’s chest. His arms hugged her close and one of his legs was wrapped over her back, pressing her hips into his. Her body rose and lowered with his. She listened to his heart pound.

  It felt soothing. Safe.

  He had shared so much of his pain. For a man she barely knew, she understood him completely. Her body heated at the thought of becoming intimate with him. She needed to stop denying her feelings. There was no doubt she wanted him and had wanted him long before she ever heard about Ben’s return.