The Widow's Keeper Read online

  “Maybe I was supposed to be with Farah and the boys, and you were supposed to have a life with Kate. Maybe somehow I messed things up by coming home.”

  Dave put his arm around her shoulders and rested his cheek against hers. “You know what I call that?”

  She shook her head.

  “Bullshit.”

  He paused and stared out at the clear blue of the river, letting his response sink in before explaining. “I had a life with Kate, and I spent it thinking about you. Getting you back was the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t ever want to relive those years without you. Yes, things have been challenging for us, but it’s still much better having you here with me than not having you at all. And as far as messing with the forces of nature or whatever you’re thinking, that’s a load of crap. What if here was where you were supposed to be?”

  “I’m not an easy person to live with.” She scanned the waters as if looking for an answer.

  Dave grinned. “Good thing I am.” He nudged her head onto his shoulder and rested his cheek on her hair. “I don’t know how many times, ways, and in how many different languages I need to tell you this is where I want to be, but I’ll do it. Until the day I die.”

  “I want you to be happy.”

  “I am,” he lied. Well, it wasn’t a complete lie. Having her home made him happier than he’d been since she disappeared. But the way she stared out and got lost in her thoughts, tuning him and the rest of the world out, the way she would jerk away from him as if he’d hit her… It all stung, and no amount of reading or couples’ therapy could ease the feeling that he could no longer make her happy. “More than you’ll ever know. But I’m still not understanding why you’re here.”

  She shrugged. “I’m tired of being scared of my own shadow.”

  He ran his fingers up her arm, and although she stiffened, she didn’t pull away. He smiled. Progress. “So you thought walking three blocks to the park at six o’clock in the morning was the way to go?”

  The sound of her laugh made his chest swell. “I didn’t say it was a rational thought but it worked.”

  He inhaled the sweet vanilla of her perfume. “Why didn’t you wake me up? You know I’d have come with you.”

  She pulled his hand off her arm and into her lap, weaving her fingers through his. “You can’t fight all my demons for me. I needed to know I could do it on my own. And I did.”

  “You don’t have to push this hard, you know. It’s only been five months.”

  “I know.” Ally nuzzled her forehead against his neck. This was something new she’d started doing, and he loved it when she did. “But I needed to know.”

  “And how’d it go?”

  “Scary as hell. I jumped at every noise. I kept wanting to turn around and come home but I didn’t.”

  He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “It wouldn’t have been so bad if you had.”

  She shrugged. “It would have been for me. So I pushed through it and made myself sit on the bench. But you know what the suckiest part was?”

  “What?”

  “Realizing I was going to have to do it all over to get home.” Ally looked up at him and smiled. “But now I don’t have to worry about it anymore because you swooped in to save the day.”

  Dave kissed the tip of her nose and grinned. “The next time you decide to fight your demons, leave me a note or something. Okay?”

  Her face fell. “I keep disappointing you.”

  He savored the fact she hadn’t pulled away. “Baby, as long as you’re alive and safe, nothing you do will disappoint me.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  THE VISITOR

  FOUR MONTHS POST-DAVID

  Ally slowed to a brisk walk as soon as she entered the cemetery. She wiped the sweat from her forehead on the sleeve of her shirt. While she weaved through the hundred-year-old gothic tombstones littering the grounds, her pulse eased to a calmer rate. A smile tugged at her lips. Once upon a time, she and David wandered around the property, reading the names engraved into the stones and making up crazy stories about the people buried below.

  Now, the worn monuments and mausoleums no longer called to her. What drew her was a simple plot in the far end of the property with a view of the Schuylkill River. It had no tombstone yet, just a marble plaque listing the name and date of the occupant. And she didn’t need to create a heroic story for the person lying beneath the slab of freshly plotted grass—she’d seen and lived it with him.

  A few hundred yards before her destination, movement to her right caught her attention. A man stood by the entrance to one of the larger mausoleums. In jeans and a black tee, his muscular arms were crossed against his chest. As usual, he kept his black hair cut short and his dark aviators made it impossible to read him. She stumbled at the sight.

  Her pulse, which moments ago had slowed from her run, quickened. He must have heard about her calls. As if reading her mind, Eddie nodded. She watched him scan the area. He tipped his head in the direction of the building behind him and disappeared inside.

  Ally stayed rooted to her spot and looked over her shoulder. Aside from the squirrels searching for their breakfast and the birds chirping from nearby trees, the place sat empty, as it always did at seven in the morning. The only thing different was the excitement surging through her.

  She’d spent the past few months leaving messages at the agency, hoping he’d get them. But why had he come? She bit her lip. What if he’d shown up to tell her he agreed with her family that she was crazy?

  Ally shook her head. It didn’t matter. David wouldn’t have found her without Eddie’s help, and hopefully he was here now with the answers she sought. The thought propelled her forward.

  Unfortunately, she also knew Eddie. He was stingy with information, rarely sharing his knowledge unless necessary. Which made his sudden appearance even more intriguing. He had something to share, and she intended to hear his thoughts, even if she didn’t like them.

  At the entrance, she stopped and eyed the thick, rusted lock dangling from the handle. The door sat slightly ajar, open enough for a person to slide in yet still be hidden from the world. Her stomach tightened. Eddie had gone to some trouble to set up this meeting. She craned her head to look inside but saw nothing other than a gray wall. Ally sucked in a breath and squeezed through the cracked opening.

  Rays of early morning sun poured in from small slits on the ceiling of the otherwise dark room. A thick rectangular slab of concrete sat prominently in the middle of the space. Large cobwebs covered the white bust of a man situated atop the slab. Most likely, the same man whose corpse slept beneath it.

  “How are you holding up?” Eddie stood beside the bust, facing her and the entrance.

  Ally grabbed hold of the door. Her face heated. “According to my family and some woman in your department, I’ve gone crazy.”

  He grinned. “Well, as of two days ago, I believe you’ve called us three hundred twenty-seven times.” One of his brows lifted, rising over the frame of his shades. “That’s a lot of messages.”

  Her hopes lowered substantially. “So you’re here to tell me you agree with them? That I’m crazy?”

  He shrugged. “It’s not PC to call people crazy anymore. And no, it’s not the only reason why I’m here. I’m here to tell you to go to the hospital in Germany, like they’re recommending. Consider it a quiet getaway. A time to heal.”

  Heat burned her face. Ally stepped closer. “When Sayeed killed your family, is that what you did? Get away and give yourself time to heal?”

  Eddie straightened and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s a little weird to be having this conversation with a dead body in the middle of the room, isn’t it?”

  He knew something. Her gut screamed it. The fact he wouldn’t share his knowledge made the anger of the past few months swell. Ally continued her slow approach. “You kill people for a living, I think you can handle a coffin with some bones in it.” Her whispered voice shook with emotion. “A
nd that’s not what’s making you uncomfortable. What’s making you uncomfortable is I’m mad, and you don’t know what to do with me.”

  With every step forward she took, Eddie took one back, fueling her contempt even more. “He did everything you and the agency told him to do. Everything.” She jabbed her finger at his face. “You said leave Farah and the boys behind and never contact them. Every time I even mentioned their names or wondered out loud about what it would be like to see them again, David quoted your words at me. He would say, ‘the agency’s taking care of them,’ and reminded me they could never know I was alive for their own safety. After doing everything you asked of him, what was the end result?”

  A muscle on the side of his jaw flexed.

  An angry tear slipped down her cheek. “Someone killed him.”

  “All the reports indicate the death was an accident,” he said.

  She nodded and swiped the moisture away with the back of her hand. “They also say Sara Irfani died in an explosion in Pakistan over three years ago.”

  Eddie opened his mouth and shut it. Good. She wasn’t finished.

  “And you came all the way here to the cemetery and broke into a mausoleum to tell me what the reports say? Oh, and to tell me I’m crazy and need to go into the hospital. Why go to so much trouble when you could have picked up a phone and called, or emailed, or written a letter even? ” She grit her teeth, hating the pain she heard in her own voice. “Have I gone through the most agonizing loss of my life? Yes. Am I the grieving widow who’s obsessively called the CIA over three hundred times? Yes. But after all these years of doing exactly what you said, don’t I deserve to know?”

  “And twenty-seven.”

  Ally shook her head, not understanding what he meant.

  “Three hundred and twenty-seven calls, as of two days ago.”

  She rolled her eyes and continued. “I may be all those, but I’m not stupid.”

  He let out a sigh and rested the back of his head against the concrete wall. “You’re right, I should have called you back. And I’m sorry. About everything. You didn’t deserve any of this.”

  Ally looked over at the cobwebs blanketing the statue beside her. His words caught her off guard. She expected smart-ass comments, not an apology.

  “I really liked him. I wouldn’t have helped him if I didn’t.”

  “Liar.” A spider crawled across the marble statue’s nose, making its way to its forehead. “We both know you were itching for a chance to go after Sayeed. David gave you the opportunity. You’re saying whatever you need to get me to shut up and do what you want me to do.”

  “Yes, I want you on the plane, but I’m telling you the truth. David was a good man. A much better man than most of us will ever be. I didn’t have to take him with me to Pakistan, and I definitely wouldn’t have spent two weeks locked up in a building with him if I didn’t like the guy.”

  She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “My husband liked you, too. He considered you one of the good guys. An asshole but a good guy.”

  Eddie chuckled and pulled off his shades. “How are you holding up?”

  A deep purple welt darkened the bottom of his right eye. Instead of asking about it, she answered his question in Eddie style. “How do you think I’m doing?”

  “Pretty pissed off.”

  Ally stared at the stained glass window on the top of the room. “I thought nothing could be more traumatic than my life with Sayeed. I was wrong. Losing David has been the hardest pain I’ve ever endured.” She cleared her throat and pushed away the tear that threatened to escape. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why are you here?”

  Eddie nodded. “To talk to you about the hospital in Germany.”

  Of course. A sad smile tugged at her lips. She was tired. Tired of people thinking they knew what was best for her. Tired of no one listening. Tired of pretending she was okay. She leaned her back against the wall and slid to the ground. Ally hugged her knees to her chest, rested her forehead on the tops of her arms, and closed her eyes. “I’m not going.”

  “It’s not up for debate.”

  She laughed. “Okay, then drugging me and taking me away has worked in the past.”

  “Right now, I have to say it’s not a bad idea.”

  Ally waved toward the door. “Go home, Eddie. No more jokes. No more lies. I can’t do this anymore.”

  The room fell silent. She listened to his jeans stretch as he moved around the room. He mumbled under his breath for a while before finally sitting down beside her. “Okay fine. Look, there’s a problem.”

  “Does the problem have anything to do with David’s accident?” she asked.

  “Maybe.”

  Her head snapped up, and she stared over at him. “I’m listening.”

  Eddie’s legs were bent. His arms hung over his knees, his fingers clasped together as he stared at the mausoleum entrance. “All I can say is there’s a situation, and we need to get you in a safe place as a precautionary measure.”

  Every muscle in her body froze, focused on Eddie’s words. “What kind of situation?”

  He scowled. “The kind I can’t discuss.”

  “There’s a situation possibly connected to my husband’s death. A situation dangerous enough that you want me to leave, but you won’t tell me anything further.”

  He nodded. “Yup.”

  She rested her chin on her forearms and shook her head. “I’m not going.”

  Eddie’s whispered string of obscenities filled the room. She ignored them all. After he finished, he cleared his throat. “Please?”

  From the pained sound of it falling from his lips, there was no doubt he rarely used the word. Ally looked over at him. His face was bright red, especially the spot between his brows. She kept her voice calm. “Tell me the truth, Eddie. None of this ‘because I said so’ or ‘because I know better’ crap.”

  He was silent for a few beats before answering. “One person’s already dead and two others are missing. Not counting the possibility that this could also be connected to your husband’s accident.”

  Her heart thudded harder and harder against her chest. “Who?”

  He scowled and stared at the entrance.

  She sucked in a breath. “Farah?”

  Something flashed across his face as soon as she mentioned his sister’s name and disappeared a second later. Ally climbed to her knees, facing him. “Farah’s dead?”

  He stared at her, and for the first time, she saw fear in his eyes. “I don’t know.”

  “She’s one of the people who’s missing, then.” Terror crawled up her spine while her brain whirled with scenarios. “You said someone other than David died. Who?”

  Eddie pursed his lips, put his sunglasses on, and rested his head against the wall.

  Ally wiped her sweaty palm on her running pants. “The boys?” she whispered.

  “Alive.”

  She let out a breath only to suck it back in a second later. “Farah’s husband, Amir.”

  He didn’t respond.

  Her jaw dropped. She could hear the erratic thuds of her pulse against the back of her ears. She stared at him. “He’s dead?”

  “I…”

  She cut him off. “It’s the only way they would have been able to get Farah. Amir would have never let her go.”

  Eddie didn’t respond, confirming her theory.

  She sat on her haunches as the weight of it all sliced through her. “This is happening because of me? Am I the reason…?”

  His head was shaking before she ever finished her sentence. “We don’t know anything yet. Which is why you need to disappear.”

  “I can help get her back.”

  “You’ll get her and yourself killed.”

  “If it will save her, I’m okay with the other part,” she blurted.

  She didn’t have to see behind his shades to know he currently stared at her as if she were crazy.

  Ally cleared her throat and tried to sound rational. �
�I am the reason all of this is happening. David and Amir’s deaths, Farah’s kidnapping, all because of me. My parents and siblings are here. If you don’t know their motives, then you don’t know if they will come after my family.”

  He put his palm up, silencing her. “Just do as you’re told, and all of our families will be safe.” He rose to his feet and stretched out his hand, helping her up.

  “How can you promise that?”

  The muscles in his jaw flexed. “Because they have my sister, and I’m going to destroy the motherfucker who killed her husband and took her and her—” He stopped mid-sentence and sucked in a breath. “But before I can do anything, I need you to stop wandering around deserted cemeteries and get your fucking ass to Germany. They can protect you at the base so I can do what I do best. ”

  “You still haven’t answered my question. How do you know they won’t come after my family in Philadelphia to get to me?”

  “I know them. It would be too messy. They don’t like messy.”

  “Which is why they have Farah?”

  He nodded. “From what I’ve pieced together, they’ve been monitoring David’s cell phone and his work email for information about you. My hunch is they’re waiting for the right time to contact you and strike a deal, you for them.”

  His words chilled her. “Then I need to go to them.”

  “No,” he snapped. “It will only kill her faster. They won’t need her anymore. If you really want to help, go to Germany. I know where she is, and you disappearing buys me some time.”

  She stared in the direction of David’s grave. Going to Germany meant leaving him.

  “There are lives, living and breathing ones depending on you, and your husband’s isn’t one of them.” He pointed in the direction she stared. “That plot of grass and the box underneath? Those are only his bones. He’s not there and never will be.”

  Her chest tightened, leaving her breathless. Ally wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed. “It feels like he is.”

  “And what would he say if he were standing right here?”